Kelly from xsisterhoodx interview

When did xsisterhoodx get started?

xsisterhoodx began in the early nineties by a girl named Circe. She had, like many of us during that time, noticed that most of the straight edge websites were run and frequented by males. She set out to create a place for the girls in the scene. xsisterhoodx was born, and a discussion list was formed. Early in 1996 I started searching the Internet for other girls like me. I ran across xsisterhoodx and joined the list. Every day I was inundated with e-mails from girls from around the world. For all our differences, we were remarkably similar. One day Circe sent a message to the group saying that she no longer wanted to run xsisterhoodx. She asked if anyone in the community wanted to take it over. I raised my hand and said I would like to take over the website, and another girl took over the discussion list. I'm not sure what happened to the list but I have been working on the site ever since.

From the get-go I had a vision for xsisterhoodx. I wanted it to be a place where girls from all over could network and support one another. I was a teenager when I took over the site, and not very skilled in web design or programming. Now more than a decade later, my skills, and technology have enabled me to come closer to realizing my initial vision.

If you're really curious about seeing what xsisterhoodx looked like back in the day, go here. That was one of the first renditions of the site. It's pretty crazy to see how far we've come.

What are your main aims/goals?

I've copied our mission statement below because it really answers your question.

xsisterhoodx strives to be a positive force in a scene divided. Our goal is to create balance and eliminate the biases which exist in today's global scene. As a community we encourage and support positive discussion and involvement without the negativity and posturing often found on the web. We stand against violence and elitism and do not tolerate bigotry, racism, sexism, or discrimination in any form.

xsisterhoodx is about forging connections. It’s about creating a positive dialog and making people aware that their views and way of life are shared by many, and that they are not alone. Too few hardcore/straight edge sites empower females let alone accept them as equals. Know your role.

What inspired you to start xsisterhoodx?

What inspired me to search for something like xsisterhoodx when I was 15 is more than likely the very same thing that inspired Circe to start xsisterhoodx. When I first got involved in the hardcore and straight edge scenes, things were a bit different than they are today. I was the only girl in my school that listened to hardcore and went to shows. I was also the only person, in my school that was straight edge (this changed by the time I graduated). I think we all want to surround ourselves with people who we share common interests. I felt lonely. Most of all I felt that my peers didn't understand me. Don't get me wrong I had friends growing up, good friends. I just really wanted to connect with people who wanted to live the way I did. People who shared my feelings towards drugs and alcohol. I found that in xsisterhoodx. I found a network of girls who were all looking for the same thing. I was able to connect and share my experiences with people who could understand where I was coming from.

Over the years I've been inspired over and over again by the girls who come to my site. They're all searching, just as I had over a decade ago. I'm inspired by their strength, convictions, and innocence.



Was it hard getting started?

xsisterhoodx has always been a labor of love. It has taken me over fourteen years to get it where it is today. I've had my ups and downs. But I've never given up on xsisterhoodx or what I thought it could be. Running a site like xsisterhoodx is a huge commitment. A lot of my spare time goes into working on the administrative end of things, as well as trying to post on the boards, find new writers, and promote the site.

Do you feel like hardcore is more accepting of girls in bands than other scenes or less so?

I think the hardcore scene has become more accepting of girls in general. More girls go to shows, more girls start or get involved in bands. It's a natural progression. Unfortunately, for all the gains we've made we still have to deal the misogynistic comments, and marginalization of women in the scene. Other scenes are far more progressive when it comes to girls in bands. I don't think anyone even blinks when a new indie rock band with a female lead starts up. But when a new hardcore band forms with a female lead, people seem to be pretty cynical. Female leads, more so than musicians, really have to prove themselves.

It seems like straight edge girl hardcore bands is a pretty niche market. Is it hard to keep up a consistent amount of material for your site?

xsisterhoodx covers so many aspects of the scene that we never run out of material. New bands are forming all the time, the world keeps changing. We cover everything from the latest in politics to the reality of sexual abuse. Our articles are as varied as our membership base.



Comparing hardcore in the present to hardcore in the past, do you think it's better for girls now?

In my experience, here on the East Coast, the hardcore scene is a much more girl friendly place than it was in my past. When I was in high school I dated a drummer in a hardcore band. I can remember sitting in his kitchen listening to a conversation between his guitar players. They were talking about an upcoming show at the Chance in Poughkeepsie and saying if they saw a girl in the pit they would go out of their way to smash her face in. Just a few weeks later I went to a show with a girl friend of mine, and that guitar player punched her in the face. I'm sure things like this still happen. But I've heard a lot less talk like that over the years. Here in CT, though I haven't been going to a lot of shows since the birth of my daughter last year, we have a fairly decent number of girls who go to and participate in shows. At least at the local shows the girls are treated as equals. So I do think the scene is better.

Do you get a lot of hatemail?

I don't get a lot of hate mail. I do get the occasional myspace message from a disaffected youth saying, “fuck Straight Edge,” or, “go smoke some pot.” Just the other day I got an anonymous message that told me that because I'm a mom now I should give up straight edge. I'm not sure how that makes any sense.

I used to get a lot more negative comments. But these days most of the e-mail and messages I get are in support of xsisterhoodx and what we stand for. I think most people want a scene they can be proud of.

What are your plans for the future of xsisterhoodx?

I plan to keep building the site and our member base. I hope to keep the momentum going and the zine alive. I may be getting old, but I have no plans of giving up.

Do you have any shout outs?

I'd like to thank all of the people who have supported xsisterhoodx over the years. All the kids who post on the boards regularly, and contribute to the zine. They are what keep me going, and make all the time I spend on the site worthwhile. I'd also like to give special thanks to my husband, Tim, who supports me and what I am trying to achieve with xsisterhoodx. He has spent many nights watching TV alone while I've moved databases around or re-designed the page.

Any advice to finish with?

The only real advice I have for anyone is to just get involved, start a zine, book a show. The scene will be better for it.



Thanks a lot to Kelly for the interview.